How do you want to remember this time?
Recently a few friends have said to me “I don’t know how you do it” – referring to looking after Ethan (2 and a half) and Huw (11 months), who are definitely busy bodies when they’re awake!
The truth is, sometimes I think the same, there are days where I think it’s all too much – tiring, monotonous, selfless and physically demanding.
And then I look at their little faces and think they won’t be dependent forever.
Whilst having a reflective moment on a family trip to Jindabyne the question ‘How do you want to remember this time?’ came to mind.
My friend JayRay shared this great question with me after he returned from an International Coach Federation conference in London back in 2012. Sir Clive Woodward had spoken to delegates after his role helping bond Team GB in the 2012 Olympic Games. Clive shared two questions he challenged athletes with:
“How do you want to be remembered” and “How do you want to remember this time?”
These questions struck a chord with me and I revisit them from time to time.
During this period of life with two little ones on the go, I thought I can choose to remember this time as tiring, monotonous, selfless and physically demanding.
Or I can flip it and remember it as fun, challenging and giving. As one of my mentors says “Life is a mind game”.
My husband is more natural in this mindset than me and I thank him for his ability to keep perspective well even during some of the more challenging times!
Reflecting on how I want to be remembered. For the boys, I wish them to remember me as a fun, hands on Mum who was present with them, not short tempered, impatient and too serious.
I think there will always be moments of ups and downs (like when they’re both throwing a tantrum!) but it’s how you manage yourself that makes the difference.
Key to this for me is enabling enough self care so I’m not over tired which is generally where I experience the tougher moments.
For me, half a dozen self care strategies that help me be the best version of myself:
- Regular mindfulness practice – My New Year’s Resolution is to meditate everyday (even if just for a few minutes) which I’m tracking via Insight Timer (thanks for the recommendation Steffi!)
- Daily exercise – I feel more alive when I can get in a daily dose of exercise and am enjoying having a personal goal of qualifying for the 2018 World Age Group Triathlon Champs – Thanks husband and family Thomas for enabling me to do some training whilst in beautiful Jindabyne
- Sleep – 8 hour’s of sleep definitely helps me be on top of my game – with Huw still feeding generally once in the night this is interrupted so I try and top it up with an extra hour or a power nap – I find a longer meditation helps bridge any sleep gap too
- Nutrition – Drinking lots of water and eating a good daily dose of fruit and vegetables
- Laughter – Loosening up and taking the time to laugh with the boys, especially playing music in the morning and dancing around
- Accepting help – This is something I’ve learnt to accept more readily from family and friends to get some self care time
Nothing revolutionary but hopefully a good reminder of some good habits to kick start the New Year.
Love to hear from others on how you want to remember this current period in your life and any strategies that help you that may inspire others. Some reflective questions:
How do you want to remember this time? How do you want significant others to remember you? Is there any change in mindset required? How are you showing up to those around you? What if anything do you need to implement to be the best version of yourself?
Wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2018 ahead.
Finishing with one of my favourite Einstein quotes which helps me remember to be present.
‘There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.’ Albert Einstein
Dani Matthews 
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